Groomsmen or Ushers
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Ushers and Groomsmen
What Are Groomsmen and Ushers?
The Groomsmen Responsibilities
By Nina Callaway of www.About.com Guide
A groomsman is first someone who is important to the groom, and whom the groom wants to be a visible part of his wedding. He may be a close friend, brother, cousin or father. These days, he may even be a she; more men are asking female friends to be part of their attendants (although they are usually called honor attendants, rather than groomsmen, and can wear a dress rather than a tux).
But groomsmen do more than stand around and look pretty. He also serves as advisor to the groom beforehand, helps the groom be organized, aids with any wedding planning details he can, and helps seat guests at the wedding.
Helps the wedding toastmaster carry out his duties.
While a groom will want to have his best buddies and the men in his life that means the most to him, he should also make sure that he has a group that is responsible enough to handle their duties, or at least one person willing to pick up the slack for the others. Work along side the wedding toastmaster during the day.
A groomsman:
- Supports the groom, advises him, listens to any pre-wedding nervousness
- Assists the groom in picking out what the groomsmen are going to wear
- Either gets measured at the formalwear shop or promptly sends his measurements to them, and offers to pick up and return the suits.
- Goes to all pre-wedding events, including engagement parties, any coed showers, bachelor party, and rehearsal dinner.
- Helps to plan and pay for the bachelor party
- With the bridesmaids, helps decorate the getaway car
- Gives a wedding present, and often an engagement present
- Helps the groom relax and get dressed on the day of the wedding
- Supports the wedding Toastmasters Duties
- Unless the groom has separate ushers and groomsmen, shows guests to their seats at the ceremony.
- The best man frequently holds the ring during the ceremony
- Dances with bridesmaids and single female guests at the wedding.
- Helps carry away gifts and personal items after the wedding
There is a considerable expense involved in being a groomsman, including cost of apparel, travel, and hotel room for the ceremony, hosting a bachelor party, as well as the gifts. A groomsman should have these expenses in mind when he accepts the honor and be up front with the groom about what he is and isn't able to afford. Once he has agreed to be a groomsman, however, he shouldn't complain about the cost.
Possible ways a groomsman can save money include:
- asking to wear a suit he already owns
- renting his tux
- staying with friends rather than in a hotel room
- Throwing a casual bachelor party (perhaps a barbeque at a local park?)
- and asking other groomsmen to band together to give a joint present
In order to honor all of their close friends, a couple may decide to have separate groomsmen and ushers.
The Role of Ushers
What are Wedding Ushers? How Many Do You Need?
No, not the R&B singer Usher - but wedding ushers! They're the first smiling face your guests will see. Ushers help greet guests, distribute programs, and escort people to their seats. They may also help prepare the ceremony location, such as arranging chairs or testing the sound system, or any of those other essential last minute tasks that you really don't need to be doing in your wedding gown
What's the Difference between Groomsmen and Ushers?
At some weddings, there might not be any difference between the two. But when differentiated, the groomsmen are typically people who have a closer relationship to the couple than the ushers have. Ushers are sometimes not included in pre-wedding events (such as the bachelor party) and may be dressed differently than the groomsmen. Both ushers and groomsmen should be given boutonnieres to help guests identify them.
Do You Need Ushers?
Certainly the duties of ushers are important, but some couples ask the groomsmen to fulfill this role instead. At very casual weddings, guests might find their seats by themselves. But especially if groomsmen and other members of the wedding party will be occupied with getting dressed and/or taking photographs before the ceremony, it's helpful to have some ushers who can help the wedding toastmaster to direct people to restrooms, assist handicapped persons, and answer questions. I especially recommend ushers if you need to keep divorced guests separate from each other, or anticipate any other seating conflicts.
How Many Ushers Should You Have?
The general rule is one usher for every 50 guests. It depends on how busy the wedding toastmaster is. I suggest that for small weddings, you have still have 2 so that they can keep each other company.
Who Should You Ask to Be an Usher at Your Wedding?
Traditionally ushers are men, but if you're having a modern wedding there's no reason to let the boys hog the limelight at the ceremony doors! Choose family friends, cousins and other relatives, or other people you are close to, someone you trust to work with the wedding toastmaster. Make sure they are people persons who feel at ease talking to strangers and will be glad to be helpful.
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